Why Don't I Remember?
by Luckysee12
Summary: Franada. Matthew's back after being pulled away from the one he loved, Francis, but Francis doesn't remember who Matthew is!
1. Chapter 1

**Btw the house would look like this but in a town setting; http:/www dot realtor dot com/realestateandhomes-detail/48776-County-Road-4_Spring-Lake_MN_56680_M77561-79723?source=web **

**Just replace the (dot)s with . **

He couldn't wait to get back. It's been so long, Matthew wondered if Francis would recognize him. He'd grown since he last saw him. Two years….that was a long time ago. Matthew knew Arthur was trying to protect me but….

"_Matthew, you need to think about this! He's not going to do anything but go off and shag anyone who offers. He's no good for you!" "Arthur, good for me or not I can't just leave him! And not even saying goodbye?" Arthur grabbed Matthew's hand and pulled the 17 year old to the car. "We're leaving, and I don't want to hear ANYTHING about that frog. Do you hear me?" "Y-Yes Arthur." Matthew opened the door, climbing inside next to his brother Alfred. At least Al was excited for the move, even if it was such short notice. The blonde smiled and had a bubbly attitude, when all Matthew could do was turn his head facing the window and cry softly. "I'll come back, promise." He whispered as Arthur pulled the car out of the driveway and down the road._

_For a year after they moved Matthew was an introvert, and never spoke unless he absolutely needed to, and stayed holed up in his room listening to songs, singing some of his own he would write. The lyrics usually had French incorporated in them, which was the way he and Francis met, in French class. It was funny that both of them were only taking the class for credits and they were both already fluent in French. They became friends some way or another and eventually started dating. Dating escalated to lovers and that's when Arthur took Matthew away. _

It's been two years, and Matthew was finally back, and bought the house they used to live in even, and had a job at an art supply store lined up too. Matthew pulled his red 2005 Honda Civic into the driveway. Nostalgia instantly overwhelmed Matthew as he shut the car door. The two-story house stood proudly, not as big as it used to seem, now that he had shot up in height. The honey-colored siding had dulled a bit from weather, but it was still like he remembered. The green roof and the decks. Matthew could hardly stop himself from skipping to the door. He slid the key in, turning it and his heart felt lighter when he heard the door unclick. He stepped into the room, smiling happily. Arthur had given him the old furniture they had there, and with what Matthew had added to the collection, it made him feel so at home.

Matthew went back out to his car to grab his last box of his stuff, just essentials and momentums, everything else had been moved in yesterday by Arthur while Matthew was dealing with last minute issues. As Matthew brought the last box into the house he wondered to himself if Gilbert was still living down the street. Couldn't hurt to check, he supposed. Maybe he could give Matthew Francis's number. He had lost it when Arthur confiscated his phone, getting him a different one that only had his and Alfred's numbers in it, all of his contacts gone. Matthew set the box down on the steps upstairs and decided to go see if Gilbert still lived there or not. It sure would make him feel happy to see an old face.

Matthew went back out the door, locking it, just in case he wouldn't be back for a while. Matthew began to walk down the side of the street, looking at the different houses that his friends used to live in. "I wonder what everyone's up to." He wondered out loud as he came to a familiar lime green door. Gilbert had painted it that in their freshman year of high school as an April Fool's Day to annoy Ludwig, and they never painted over it. It went together strangely well with the white house.

Matthew inhaled and knocked on the door. It only took a few seconds for the door to open. A large man, about a few inches taller than Matthew opened the door. "Ja, may I help you?" Matthew's eyes widened. "Oh my god. Ludwig? Holy crap you grew." Ludwig looked a little uncomfortable. "Um, who are you?" "Oh, I'm-" "Weeeest who's at the door." A familiar voice called. Matthew grinned. "It's Birdie!" he yelled. Ludwig looked at him confused before a flash of white passed him. "Oh my god! Birdie!" Gilbert yelled as he tackled Matthew. "Where the fuck have you been dude?" he asked as he let go of the suffocating Canadian. "Where'd you go, man?" "Arthur took me and Al to some small town in the middle of nowhere, but I'm back now." Matthew smiled. "I bought our old house, and I'm staying here." Gilbert flashed him a grin. "This is awesome! You have to see Antonio and Francis! Francis was a wreck after you left." Matthew flinched. "I wasn't in the best shape either."

Gilbert fished a phone out of his pocket and used speed dial. "Hey Toni! Emergency meeting! My house now." He said before hanging up, and pressing another speed dial number and saying the same message to Francis. "They'll be here in five minutes. I want you to hide in the closet, ok? When I knock on the door, pop out and scare the shit outta them! Then you and Francis can go have sex or whatever." Matthew went beet red. Gilbert laughed, and led him into the house. Ludwig saw where this was going and headed out the door, saying he had to go do something, more likely just an excuse to leave before hell broke loose. Gilbert shoved Matthew into the closet. "Remember, when I knock." He said before shutting the door. Matthew just laughed and shook his head. This was exactly something Gilbert would do. He couldn't wait to see the look on Francis's face when he came out of the closet! True to what Gilbert said he heard the door open and close and voices through the door, Gilbert's particularly. "Guys, this is going to sound weird but I sort of have a problem. I killed a hooker. He's in the closet." Matthew heard a few sharp raps on the door. Matthew wasted no time, slamming the door open, smacking Gilbert in the face. "Hooker?" Matthew yelled. "What kind of introduction is that?" "Mateo! You're back!" Antonio grinned giving him a quick hug. "Francis, look, Mateo's back!"

Matthew expected the Frenchman to smile at least, but what he got hurt him seriously. Francis had a puzzled look on his face.

"Who? I've never seen him before."

**Review?**


	2. Chapter 2

"Who? I've never seen him before."

The room went dead silent. "W-what? You have to be joking Francis." Antonio laughed a little, nervously. Francis brought a hand to his chin, rubbing against the stubble, almost inspecting Matthew. "No, I don't know who you are. Sorry?" Matthew couldn't speak. He felt like he wasn't even in his body anymore, like he was a ghostly spectator, watching himself pale. Matthew could see Gilbert saying something too him, but he couldn't hear him. It was like listening to someone under water. You could tell they were saying something but you didn't really know what.

Matthew couldn't feel anything; his legs could have been chopped off at the knee for all he knew. He didn't even really have any emotions but hurt. He could hear voices swirling around him, voices he knew well. 'I thought you left! I told you to leave!' Matthew tried to yell, the words not coming out of his mouth.

_We knew he'd forget, why should he remember you?_

_You were nothing but a source of sex._

_You meant nothing to him._

_Nothing at all. _

_Why keep living? _

_Everyone hates you. _

_Suicide is painless._

_Poison, a bullet, a razor blade, a tall building, a rope, there's so many possibilities._

Matthew finally found his voice. "N-No, I said to leave! I'm not going to do that!" Gilbert turned to him. "What are you saying Birdie?" Matthew didn't hear him. "Get out of my head." Matthew clutched at his head, curling up, hyperventilating.

_Just die, you know you want to._

_Just die. You know you are worthless._

_A terrible person._

_You should just die._

_JUST DIE._

_KILL YOURSELF._

_RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW._

"N-No! Get out of here!" Matthew began to scream. The other three were at a loss of what to do. "Birdie, what's wrong?"

_DIE. JUST DIE._

_What do they care?_

_You are worthless._

_A FOOL._

_AN IDIOT._

_A SLUT!_

_WHORE!_

"Get out of my head! I'm not any of those things! Please leave me alone. I'm not going to kill myself, leave me alone!" Matthew shrieked, doubling over on the floor, shaking his head, hands over his ears, trying to get rid of the voices.

_JUST DIE!_

_YOU DON'T DESERVE LIFE!_

_JUST DIE ALREADY!_

"JUST KILL YOURSELF ALREADY!" Matthew began screaming what the voices said. "NO ONE WILL CARE! DO IT HERE AND NOW!" "You guys, something's wrong! We need to calm him down." Gilbert told them. Antonio wrapped a blanket around Matthew, hoping it would provide some comfort. Matthew seemed to get a little better.

"G-get the voices out."

Francis looked at the other two. "The voices?" Gilbert furrowed his eyebrows. "Yo, Birdie? Can you hear me?"

"Gi-ilbert, they won't leave. They came back, and THEY WON'T LEAVE!"

"We need to get him to the hospital." Antonio said. Francis and Gilbert nodded. Antonio and Francis shuffled Matthew into Gilbert's car, while Gilbert grabbed the keys and called Ludwig. The phone came to the answering machine.

"Hey, West, we had a…err…situation, and we're taking Birdie, I mean, Matthew to the hospital. We'll see you when we see you I guess."

The whole drive over Antonio tried to keep Matthew calm, saying things in Spanish. When they got to the hospital they went straight to the emergency room. "Yo doctors, Birdie needs attention!" Gilbert yelled as they came through the doors.

A doctor turned around at this and immediately came over. "Matthew! Is it another attack?" The doctor asked. Matthew didn't acknowledge him even. The doctor took Matthew from Gilbert. "Oh god, Matthew, it's Arthur, can you hear me?" Matthew's eyes rolled back in his head. "ELIZAVETA!" He yelled over his shoulder as he lifted Matthew onto a hospital transportation bed. "What's wrong?" The long brown haired woman rounded the corner. She saw the look on Arthur's face, "Is it your son again?" Gilbert was confused. Son? This was the dad Matthew used to talk about?

"Yes, it's worse this time." Arthur rolled Matthew behind some doors and Elizaveta spoke to the three. "Thank you so much for bringing him here. He's having some schizophrenia –like behavior, where he hears voices in his head that tell him to do suicidal things. Did anything happen that could have triggered this?" She asked, clearly showing this had happened before. Gilbert and Antonio both looked at Francis. Francis didn't know what to think. Why would a stranger go crazy because he said he didn't know him? "Francis said he didn't remember him." Antonio supplied.

Elizaveta looked hurt. "You're Francis?" Francis nodded. "How could you not remember him? He talked about you all the time!" Francis looked confused. "I don't have any clue who he is." Antonio turned to him. "How don't you know? He was your lover for months!" "Lover?" Francis was really confused. "You went into a depression after he left! How could you have a year-long depression over someone you don't know?" Elizaveta's ears perked up.

"Depression?" Gilbert turned to her. "Yes, he went really depressed for about a year, and we didn't talk to him about Matthew, because he was so depressed over him." "Hmmm, that's what happened to Matthew and that's when he developed the 'voices', maybe Francis got rid of his memories of Matthew to cope?"

They all looked at him. "that would make sense." They all agreed. "How do I remember him again?" "Well, your memories could be triggered if you come on something that reminds you of them. Where did he first meet Matthew?" "French class, I think." Gilbert supplied. "Ok, we'll have Matthew speak something in French then." "That sounds good-" They were interrupted by a loud yell, "MATTHEW!" Elizaveta raced past the doors, telling the boys first, "Don't come in, stay here!"

Like that was good to hear.

They heard some more yelling and some crashes, before it got quiet again and Elizaveta came out, slightly disheveled. "We had some minor trouble. Matthew started to freak out when the IV was put in, he thought he was being injected with poison and killing himself."

Elizaveta added, "It's fine to see him now," The three boys made their way through the doors, down a hall and into a room, where Matthew was laying on a bed, looking normal again. "Oh, hey g-guys."

"Birdie could you say something in French?"

"Pourquoi voulez-vous que je fasse ça?"

Francis's eyes widened.

"So you _are _fluent in French."

"You don't remember him still?"

Francis shook his head. Before Matthew could speak they explained what happened to Francis and why he didn't remember. "I see. We'll just have to help you remember then, eh?"

**Pourquoi voulez-vous que je fasse ça? = Why do you want me to do that?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, I'm back. I actually discontinued this fic, but some people put this on alert and reviewed that they wanted more, and I felt bad for leaving this at such a shitty point. So here's the proper last chapter.**

After Matthew was discharged from the hospital, he tried to get Francis to remember. He brought him to their old apartment where they had lived for a week before Arthur took Matthew away, but nothing. To where they had their first date. Nothing. First kiss. Nope. First met. Nada.

They were sitting on the park bench now, Matthew very frustrated, and Francis not knowing what he was missing out on. "I can't believe you still don't remember me…" Francis sighed. "I don't know why I can't remember you."

"It hurts, you know?" Matthew sighed. "I remember so much, but you don't. You used to take me out into the rain and we'd dance, to no music. And then we'd laugh when we were sick together the next day."

"_Come on mon lapin! Come dance!"_

"_B-but it's raining!"_

"_But that just makes it more fun!"_

"I seem to be able to remember the small things. We'd sing in the shower together, and you'd always draw a heart in the steam on the mirror when we were done. You'd leave notes in my car telling me that you loved me, and once we carved our initials into a tree."

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Look, 'MW + FB forever'!"_

"You'd say you loved me at the oddest moments."

"_So this weekend we need to check with Antonio to see if he needs help with his water heater-"_

"_I have something important to say. I love you. Ok, you were saying something about a water heater?"_

"I'd come home, and you'd be in the middle of painting 'I love you' on your chest for me."

"_Francis, what are you doing?"_

"_Non, I'm not finished yet! Come back in a few minutes!"_

"You'd call our phone just to leave voicemails for me."

"_Bonjour Mathieu, I just called to say I love you!"_

"We'd watch the sunset, listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark, once you convinced me to skinny dip in the dark with you."

"_F-Francis, are you sure we should be doing this?"_

"_Of course, aren't you enjoying yourself?"_

"_S-Something just touched me!"_

"_That was me, mon cher."_

"You'd come home with gifts randomly."

"_Francis, what is with all the roses?"_

"_I saw them and thought of you mon cher!"_

"You'd slip love notes into my pockets when I wasn't looking, and you'd whispered sweet nothings to me."

"_Mon cher, your lips were made for kissing. So were your eyes, and your fingers, and your cheeks, and your collarbone, and your hands, and your ears."_

"You'd always kiss me goodnight, and- Francis, are you…crying?"

Francis was indeed crying, hunched over on the park bench. "M-Mathieu, I-I'm so sorry that I forgot. I-I remember everything now." He lifted his face and smiled sadly at Matthew. "Forgive me?"

Matthew didn't answer.

He just hug-tackled Francis.

Francis just took that as a yes.


End file.
